Presently UntitledI went walking and I found I had a million things to say. But when you came to see me I was full and naught. The words will not come right, I think I'm done with words. I think I'm done with trying hands at greatness. I am always in the middle, mediocre kid. My eyes are full with days as I struggle with hands behind my breast. The swelling in my lungs, I feel it here. I am tied down. I am tied down. I need to leave this place or I will lose my mind.Can I find myself lifted? I sit in new corners of this all too familiar everyday and paint my hunger onto pastel pinups. My sketchpad fills with things I'll never be, persons and people I will never be. I could die right now and leave this unfulfilled. I could take a breath and swallow pills. I could dress myself in finest blues and greys to welcome the coming haze. Some part of me says this is what to do. Some part of me says you'd sleep with me, too.I've made a hundred resolutions these few days, but this I think is most resolved. I'm do
swearI promise that my promisesare true. I swear I won'tbeguile or hide a part fromme from you, nor tear myselfin half. this is my heart: inpieces yet intact. this is myheart.and with a shutting lens I holdyou in my eyes for one moment intime, before you run before thesefaces shift, before the crowd movesforth and eats you whole, a victim ofthe city buses' swim.one day I'll row upstream tomeet you in the middle of theintersect, that giant square where angrydrivers try to cast us to the sides.but stop, and say these words; the hornsblare on their own accord. you'llgo to school to hear them sing andwrite your song to match. and Iwill play, off time.you'll go to school and sing butI will stay the same, with booksand notes and my off-beatingdrum. you'll go to school and sing. andswear to stay in love.
b r e a kWe all have our owndemons.keeping usholding ust r a p p e d inside headst h o u g h t falls away, toovague toremember us.My devil knocks, now, at my window,waiting.Will I blow him farewell kiss?Or let him slip in for the kill...it couldn't be too painful.Use me, break me,leave me something r e a lfigures
Twenty Four HoursIn just twenty four hours, simpleseconds of a life to spare,entire worlds can shift, the framesarrange, contort, rework andtwist.In just twenty four hours livingcould no longer be calledlife you'd choose, and minuteslater triggers pull. Andminutes later clock handsstop their spin.In just twenty four hours, maybemeaningless in grand scheme eightyyears, but guaranteed there'sthousands who would kill forone. more. day.For there's one thing that we learnas we grow old: time's notenough. It's far too much, and itis notenough.
MirrorsThe night is cold but I can'tfeel the chill. Time seems tostop and so I take thismoment just to glancearound.Alone, and in the worst ofways, alone even in my ownhead, I stand. The one I somuch cared to hold, and tobe held, has fled, andnowhere to befound.Where did they go?And oh, where gonethe day? Last time I 'memberlooking out the sun hadbarely just begun tokiss the perfect whitehorizon. Light has fadedfrom the landscape and alldemons own the star-grazednight.Would I indulge them here? Surelya simple nick of flesh to tear...so goes pieces of me -- butwho would miss this anyway?