Presently UntitledI went walking and I found I had a million things to say. But when you came to see me I was full and naught. The words will not come right, I think I'm done with words. I think I'm done with trying hands at greatness. I am always in the middle, mediocre kid. My eyes are full with days as I struggle with hands behind my breast. The swelling in my lungs, I feel it here. I am tied down. I am tied down. I need to leave this place or I will lose my mind.Can I find myself lifted? I sit in new corners of this all too familiar everyday and paint my hunger onto pastel pinups. My sketchpad fills with things I'll never be, persons and people I will never be. I could die right now and leave this unfulfilled. I could take a breath and swallow pills. I could dress myself in finest blues and greys to welcome the coming haze. Some part of me says this is what to do. Some part of me says you'd sleep with me, too.I've made a hundred resolutions these few days, but this I think is most resolved. I'm do
swearI promise that my promisesare true. I swear I won'tbeguile or hide a part fromme from you, nor tear myselfin half. this is my heart: inpieces yet intact. this is myheart.and with a shutting lens I holdyou in my eyes for one moment intime, before you run before thesefaces shift, before the crowd movesforth and eats you whole, a victim ofthe city buses' swim.one day I'll row upstream tomeet you in the middle of theintersect, that giant square where angrydrivers try to cast us to the sides.but stop, and say these words; the hornsblare on their own accord. you'llgo to school to hear them sing andwrite your song to match. and Iwill play, off time.you'll go to school and sing butI will stay the same, with booksand notes and my off-beatingdrum. you'll go to school and sing. andswear to stay in love.
Summer StormI am a girl of pasts, I canattest. But lately present fadesinto that soon to come. I forget myroots, but still, I seethe glare.Remember many days beforewhen lightning flashed aroundour heads, our eyes? It's here, again,tonight. But I am litalone.I wonder if I see where thisone comes. They say the flashnever strikes same place twice,but I am split in two. Tomorrowcould mean everything, but for themoment time is slowed, andstopped, in each new bolt ofwhite.My temper flares so likeelectric storm. And still, I'm litalone.
Twos and ThreesIn a world where stars align andevery day is blue I'd never lie.I'd never hide, I'd never saygoodbye (but would there be aneed?) You captivate me. I don'tknow you, but we have tomorrow 'tilour time decides to fly. Let's singour songs. I feel I'm losing grip,my hours, my years, I can't take hold.Tomorrow's all I have. And I am almostsure you'll be there too.I don't know why I feel I can spilleverything, unending stream of wordsto you, for hours, but you let mesit. You tell me all you know, youlet me listen. It's what I've beenwaiting for.Storyteller, see you everyday. Bring yourguitar this time. I do believeyou'll sing something I'll like.
Wishing WellI promise starting today I am starting againI will be new, will be gold, will be true to youstay. this is what I meant to say, fear thatlosing my words means Im losing youlosing you too.Lately I find Ive not much left to hold on topennies Ive spent, I am done with my wishing welltell me you love me tell me youll forget mejust tell me this, tell me its true.I am lyingstill believingwondering what Isaid to make youwait. I am not done yet with todaycan we add to the hours?its now that I arrange the syllablespouring out strings from this heartache thats walking awaythere is no time left for taking, this second is mine to forget or to let it fadeI promise starting today I am starting anewI am no longer the girl made of reds and bluestrue, I have been swimming in greyswhile common side effects include passing my daysmusic playsfrom the brown box next to my windowsummer arose while I slept, now I hearwritten on scratched tapes
Too Perfect, TightlyI used to think there was something puresomething precise, exact, adore me.I cant believe in every day anymore.I used to sing. I was three.I was beautiful, smart, I was free.You taught me I was no longer a child by age five.but Im not the little girl scared of talking to strangersIm faithful, yet filled with such hungerIm losing my life and youre not even listeningbaby, keep close to me, holding on, too perfect, tightly.let me forget.You never said you wont try.But, exactly the opposite,cried, spoke just to savea love in which I have lost faith.but Im not quite the girl you thought you knew,knew maybe, but do you? still lack definitionIm running fast backwards with no one here stopping merewinding what I believe, holding on, too perfect, tightly.let me forget.someone locate my mistakes and fast forward to todayI am bandaged. I just need some spaceI need red copper blankets and faces in the sidewalk chalkto keep myse