No One's Laughing

distance.

thespacessetbetweenusgrowingsteeper
still.    can    you    hear    me    i    am
yelling for you i am yellow once you
told me you would cross the earth
to help me lose my head.

daily.

expectation and i cannot collect myself
to push myself. sleep comes where i
can't reach to hold. phone rings
and i ignore i can't be better for
you and i cannot win.

desperate.

to hang on as i am slipping
'way. i've swallowed chemicals
that call me on to sleep. what
would my friends think if they
knew this is Real Me: at least
i didn't cut.

at least.

i didn't swallow more than one. or
more than five. or
all ten i have saved for quite
a rainy
day.